the boys in love

So, number three has a girl friend. We like his girlfriend, though he's not supposed to date for another six months. He 'snuck her in' so to speak and by the time we found out it was too late. We knew fighting him and making him break it off would create the 'forbidden fruit effect'. So, he has a girlfriend and it has turned out to be a good thing. Shes a year older, she's funny, kind and encourages him to be so as well. The little kids like her, she likes us much to his dismay.

Today they crossed a line though, the went to Mass together....sigh. He's in love. I knew it before but today, but there it was plain as day. He sees her as much of a part of him as we are. They crossed from dating to living as a young couple. Who would complain really about their teenagers going to Mass, or that they want to go to Church with a friend. Im not complaining, I know they keep each other honest and out of trouble. But its a little sad for me. I'm having a hard time as the teenagers grow up.

The kids really aren't 'ours', as Ive always known but when they start to take the steps out of your life and into their own its a little sad. Exciting for them, but sad for us. I no longer have the long line of kids in the pew every week.  I miss my big kids being little, I miss my middle kids being tiny. Life moves so fast. 

'No one tells you not to get so attached', one of my friend's told me when her daughter left for college. While I know she spoke from a place of pain, I get it. My heart sees a five year old with white hair and twinkle in his eye on the verge of mischief or a profound statement. Sigh, he's a young man with a pretty girl on his arm.

Ive decided that teenagers are as difficult as toddlers. The shift moves from physical drain to emotional drain. The shift moves to worry, prayers, watching them mature, make decisions and then face the consequences. Im praying again like I did when they were toddlers. The same kind of exhaustive prayer and pleading while hoping they land in a good place. The result of that kind of prayer for me is abandonment. Letting go.

The kid's journey is thier own. We have taught them well, trusting that God will honor his promise from proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. But also remembering they will fall, we all fall and the lessons learned will help them grow closer to God as raising them has helped us grow closer. But thats not easy watch, so we pray and we hope they wont fall too hard.

 I know number three may get his heart broken, but he's learning good relationship skills with this one. This girl encourages him to be a good  young man, which will help him grow into a good man.
So today, Im grateful. I'm sad for the natural shift and growing pains a mom experiences, but Im grateful for that red haired lovely girlfriend and my son that went to Mass together this morning.

gingham and the Eucharist

So I made it to Mass today, pretty good for a Thursday these days. On my way out the door I prayed for Jesus to reveal something, some kind of word or moment like he used to give me. He's been rather quiet lately. I dragged Adam with me, who was sorely angry with me for interrupting his computer game. Gave him the usual lecture on the way about the gift of a mass and the great tool prayer is in life. He shot back with 'no one else has to go'...well they were at camp or work..and besides, they used to all come with me everyday. So 'don't worry about them, just you'. Ive let myself get lazy with daily mass, the two babies put me over the edge. The church is half a mile from my house, I really have no other excuse. My 'littles' aren't getting what my big kids did and I'm constantly reminded to simplify so that I can return to that place and nurture the souls of the younger half of the family better.

Heads turned as Ellie cooed and Adam sulked. When it was time for communion I walked up behind a woman with gingham shorts. Purple and green gingham to be exact. I had the same shorts 20 years ago. I never wore them, but my grandmother loved them. She wanted them, but when I tried to give them to her she refused to take them. Kind of a silly memory of her, but for some reason I remembered today. She was my Dad's mother, she never had a daughter and I was her only granddaughter. Though she wasn't perfect, she was special to me. My baby Ellen's middle name is Lucille after her. She passed away 15 years ago. Though not Catholic she is the one who gave me holy water from Lourdes that we used on Emily's eye when she was a baby and had surgery. The surgery was so successful that her eye is in a text book....that's another story. Grandma is present, still she sends me little hello's here and there. The shorts were definitely a Grandma 'hi'.

As I walked up to Father Vinny Flynn's book popped into my head, The Seven Secrets of the Eucharist. http://www.ignatius.com/Products/SSE-P/7-secrets-of-the-eucharist.aspx . We are all a part of the mystical body, those here on Earth and those who sleep in Christ. We are unified in Eucharist. It's why we share the sign of peace before we receive, it is 'communal', we go forward as the body to receive the body. Even those we have lost are present. He spoke of his Dad in the book that he had recently lost, for me today it was my Grandmother. So my word from God was a visual, a pair of shorts. My little reminder that love doesn't die with the person, love and life is eternal.

....As for Adam, he was still annoyed, but lucky for him (and me) our Parish is now offering confession after Thursday mass. We both got to go. A little lighter, soup removed, we continue our day close to our creator and those we love here, and there.