Not the food the weather. We walked this morning the two babies and I. I thought it was a good idea but about a half a mile in I almost turned back. The humidity was so thick it was an effort to push the long double carriage. I asked Matthew if we should turn back and get the car, but he wanted to go to the park and there would surely be a tantrum if we turned back. So on we pushed through our town, which is 'main street USA' and usually enjoyable. None of the stores were open,there were hardly any cars and only a few shop owners milling about. Its one of my favorite things about living here, the times when it feels like its all ours. No Benny's (tourists), just us looking through the windows, dripping and hot. We stopped at the bakery quickly (to use the bathroom) and bought a $1.75 mini brownie cupcake with peanut butter frosting and scones that were 1 weight watchers point a piece.
It wasn't worth the walk. There was one family at the park with us. I did what I cant stand seeing other moms do, I was stuck texting my son and Chip while telling Matthew to hold on. The other mother started yelling at her 2 year old daughter because she was blowing bubbles the wrong way...it was time to go. We stopped at the little toy store in town on the way home for, bubbles, and the air conditioning wasn't working. I was screaming on the inside, I hate humidity. I still had to walk the 6 blocks home. It started to rain a bit, but not enough to cool things off. No relief, I was walking through soup.
I got home and wanted to run in to air conditioning but had to take the garbage cans out of the street..because none of my 8 children (well, 2 are too small) could do that for me, only to get to the back yard. It was starting to rain, the sand box was open, a beach towel left out and 5 bikes. Ugh...no one home to help I had to put them away myself. I was drenched the baby was crying, my phone was ringing and I was sweating and annoyed. I really don't think there is anything more aggravating.
Finally I opened the back door. It hit me, the air.
So what does this have to do with anything but my own personal discomfort?
Well, as I got into the shower it hit me. Cleansing...water....how hard life is when we try and walk through and work through sin. Its thick and oppressive, like the humidity. We go on and move through our days with the same kind of effort when we are stuck in sin. Not the horrific mortal sin kind here, but the collection of venial sins... the thick layer of goo covering our soul. I guess confession is calling. Its been more than the usual month or two, we've gotten lazy in our business. And though I know I may not 'feel' the relief as I did in the shower, I'll notice it as I walk through my day. As I sit to pray or clean a mess. Ill see it in the way I listen or stop to hear a silly story that I really don't have time for but that is important to my child. The little signs that confession has lifted the oppression. Too often we look for the obvious signs that confession makes a difference. We don't take the time to look to the small things. What good did the humidity do for me? Saturday afternoon Ill be in line with kids in tow.